Survivor Cook Islands is a Bizzle

“Survivor: Cook Islands” got all racial Thursday night, and since you’re reading this, it means that America didn’t regress back to 1963 Birmingham.

Maybe you called one of your pals and said, “Gee, did you see ‘Survivor’?”

And said friend replied, “Why? I don’t watch that show.”

The world, she keeps on turning, and “Survivor,” it keeps on being the same contrived old game it always has been, regardless of how “shocking” the twist may be. The teams will always have stupid names, and the people will always end up cannibalizing each other once the food runs low and the prize money seems closer.

And for the 13th time, we found out that when you divide 20 strangers into four groups on separate islands for 39 days without easy access to food, water, booze or televisions, regardless of how you split them up, someone’s going to get on someone else’s last nerve. Annoyance knows no color.

As so many people predicted, the pre-premiere sound and fury amounted to pretty much nothing. Each team shared its initial reaction to the divisions along racial lines.

Billy, of Team Hispanic (Aitutaki), observed how backwards the opening scenario was. His parents paddled on a boat to get to America, only to see their son paddle to an island for an American TV show. Nobody said that television wasn’t messed up like that.

Rebecca of A Tribe Called Black (Manihiki) piped in with, “We have to step up to the plate and show, yes, black people know how to swim. Black people know how to get on a boat and paddle. We don’t just run track.”

And Parvati, of Team Caucasia (Rarotonga) offered, “We’re an ethnic group. I mean is that…kosher? I don’t know. But it’s a cool social experiment, I think.”

Then the usual stupidity ensued. Raro’s dreadlocked alternagirl Jessica let her new comrades know that her friends call her Flica (wha?), then immediately let the team’s chickens escape, which I suppose could be called justice considering they stole one bird from team Puka Puka, i.e. Team Korea/Korea/Philippines/Hawaii/Vietnam, but really New York/New York/Oak Harbor, WA/ Chicago/Virginia.

Now we know why the episode was called “I Can Forgive Her But I Don’t Have To Because She Screwed With My Chickens.” See? Who needs to crack knuckles worrying about how a declining reality competition is going to affect race relations in America? These people are creating more pressing problems, like messing with each other’s food.

There were breakdowns, of course, but not of the race baiting variety, unless you count Cao Boi’s bottomless well of Asian jokes, which were received about as well as a stripper at Sunday mass.

What was interesting was the nature of the schisms within each tribe.

The black tribe cracked along gender lines, with a sub-alliance drawn up between Sundra and Rebecca, both New Yorkers.

The Asian group split along…we could call it a generational line, but really, if the older, weirder Cao Boi wasn’t such a tool, there wouldn’t have been problems. What saved him, besides the fact that the team won, was that he knew acupressure tricks to get rid of “bad wind,” i.e., headaches. I refuse to make a burrito joke here, by the way.

The Hispanic team had issues with Billy’s work ethic and lack of fitness.

Meanwhile, the white folks just had a good time with somebody else’s chicken which, to minorities and history buffs, probably looked like a metaphor for the way the world works.

And now you see what the real deal is with this season’s survivor, where the real fear comes from. There are a lot of well-meaning people out there who have written about the potential “Survivor: Cook Islands” has to provoke pointed, meaningful discussions about race, but let’s be honest here – ain’t going to happen. Not on any large scale. Our culture has managed to avoid that conversation up to this point; what would make you think “Survivor,” of all things, would change that?

No, this edition presents a more frightening proposition: self-examination. Everyone is going to watch in a different way, based on the baggage they bring to the couch every Thursday night at 8. Eventually we’ll all choose our favorite players based on personality, but this is the first time that a “Survivor” season has me rooting for a team of black people because I feel like they represent me. They know as much.

“Y’all know what this is about, right?” Sekou said once Manihiki beached, and they all responded by cheering, “Represent! Represent! Represent!” And when they lost, I was disappointed not because of the loss itself, but because it stemmed from a lack of cohesion on the team, and particularly the lack of bonding between the men and the women. Reams of paper has been sacrificed to articles and think pieces about the gender conflict in black communities across the nation. To see it lead to defeat in the fake reality show Petri dish that is “Survivor”? A little depressing.

And although Nathan’s decision to send off Jonathan to Exile Island because he stole a damn fryer yielded a priceless line – “Karma is a bizzle” – it didn’t demonstrate great strategy. Raro came in third. Why not go after one of the alphas on one of the winning teams?

Anyway. Now that I’m officially in for the haul, I’d like to end with a lovely line from Taki’s Billy. “I’d like to see us win, but if we lose, it’s not the end of the world. It’s the beginning of the game.”

Indeed. Congratulations, Puka. So long, Sekou. Game on, people.
Source: seattlepi.nwsource.com

Survivor Cook Island